What Minimalism Taught Me & Why I Left It

Beyond the White Walls: My Life Post Minimalism

I was once a minimalist, or I tried to be for years. I ran a website called, “The Journey to Minimalism” which I must say was an experience that profoundly changed the way I view life. It can be helpful — I know it helped me at one point in my life and changed me for the better. It was a fascinating experiment. So you can say I have a complicated relationship to minimalism. However, as a sustainable life strategy over time, for me, I did not find it added to my life (no pun intended :).

In this reflection, I want to share with you what minimalism taught me, and what it lacked— so that you can decide for yourself. Since this is a major life change, I want to highlight its benefits and detriments in a way that might help someone decide if it is right for them.

I embarked on the journey to minimalism to create more space in life for what matters — family, relationships, art, nature, healthy living — all the things that can go to the waste side when we are not intentional. But over time, the philosophy became more of a burden than a help.

How My Journey toward Minimalism Began

The road to less began when my mom died. It was a way for me to grieve I now realize — a way to control the uncontrollable aftermath of a traumatic year of my life.

In my late 20’s my mother passed away suddenly while my husband was deployed in Iraq. The event filled me with a void, one I needed to fill.

The journey to minimalism actually began with the clutter.

When my mother passed away of pancreatic cancer very suddenly, I was the executor of her will. As such, one of the responsibilities I had was of emptying her house which she had lived in for over 20 years. She had always kept things because when my family left Cuba during the Cuban revolution, they were not allowed to take any possessions with them except one small suitcase and also, while living under this restrictive regime, all of what they owned in their homes, ‘to the last spoon’ as my grandmother would say, was inventoried under the communist government.

As such, my family always taught me to keep things and value them, and part of the freedom of America was the ability to freely buy things. But as an adult, when I was emptying mom’s house, I saw years of clutter and it took me massive trips to the city dumpster, when it hit me, mom didn’t take any of this with her, her spirit didn’t need it. She was free.

This is a beautiful lesson. At the end of our life, we don’t need anything. There is truth in that.

For this reason, I want to share the lessons that minimalism did teach me. If it works for you, and it is helpful, I am not here to tell you how to live or to judge. I am only sharing my story in the hopes of giving people who haven’t tried this life philosophy or whatever you want to call it — the unabridged positive and negative — in a journey where I went so far as to minimize the size of my home and other things that were major life decisions.

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Here is some of my reasoning back then,

What if we had more time to appreciate these special moments in time? Of course we would take it. Of course we’d create space for more life experiences to fill our days. The journey to minimalism has afforded me the time to appreciate my life more. It makes me see what truly matters. I am still learning on this journey — but I never take its lessons for granted — I want more people to know that simplicity brings new joys into life-that make us live more fully.

And yes, having less did create more time, at first.

Positive Lessons I took from Minimalism

Lesson 1: You can want less. Minimalism taught me that no object in this world — no matter how fancy or luxurious can fill a void in ourselves.

The new thing never fills the void.

I have studied consumer insights of luxury products after a recruiter reached out to me to take LVHM’s (Louis Vuitton, Hennesey, Moet) Consumer Insights certification during my graduate degree. These companies produce beautiful products, and one of a kind experiences. The point is to create individualization and exclusivity - by crafting artisanal, high-quality products — none of which is bad.

The problem comes in when we supplant objects with personal growth, self-actualization, love, or fulfillment. It will never work.

Photo by Arno Senoner on Unsplash

Objects do not bring meaning to our lives, no matter how fancy, expensive, or exclusive. It is a no-sum game. We need to find meaning inside ourselves not in a fancy house, car, or purse— there is no expensive item that fills the void. I believe that involves looking within ourselves for answers. And so yes, you can enjoy the finer things in life if you can afford them — I don’t judge you for that. But true happiness probably won’t be found in these— momentary pleasure at best — and that’s not the type of happiness that changes your life. I say probably because it’s up to you to decide.

I won’t be defined by whether I buy things or not either. That’s my point actually — buying something doesn’t make you a bad or good person or a more or less productive person— it’s irrelevant.

Yet, minimalism did change how I saw resources. Moving forward, I tend to focus less on what I have or don’t have — and in general, let my mind focus on other things. But again, this is just my perspective. Yours might be very different. I did not like people judging me when I said I was a minimalist, so I don’t like to judge others who make this life choice either — this is just my own experience.

Lesson 2: You can be less busy

I had a busy, hectic life. I believed the feeling of overwhelm and feeling ”frazzled’ had to be a common sentiment running through my life. That is, until I realized I could do with less. I could make a choice to rid myself of the stuff that controlled my time.

I could want less.

I could live in a smaller house. I could choose to downsize and have less financial stress. I could live a simpler, more intentional life.

The strategy of getting rid of things to create more time can work. However, it can also be a fallacy. At times, smaller spaces can create more work by the very nature of having less space — it means we must organize it more tightly, or put stress on limited resources. For me, it became about achieving balance, and less about the amount of what I owned or didn’t own. I always disliked the stereotypical image of a minimalist house with white walls and bare floors, which is a myth — this is not how most minimalists live .

This is an analogy really, because I never painted my walls white — what I refer to here is the pursuit of perfection. Perfection kills balance, and minimalism for me, how it played out in my life, had elements of that.

I think minimalism can have benefits. By downsizing our home amd posessions at a pivotal time, it allowed us to move to Hawaii post Covid for a few months due to having more flexibility. I am not sure I would have been open to this experience had I not been a minimalist- as I know the tradeoffs of having a smaller space and could navigate them easier.

I’ll talk about that experience another day, but for me, the same things can be achieved with balance. And more so without the added pressure of a life label.

Lesson 3: The Promise May Bring Disappointment.

When the search for less, becomes as important as the search to acquire things— is that what we set out to achieve? I’m not so sure.

Minimalism can be too rigid if you let it. You start to feel that you have to live with less and less. You get rid of items you need to rebuy. It can get more expensive to replace those items you thought you didn’t need. Of course, it is about balance. But for instance, I did enjoy my juicer- even though most days it sits in the cabinet unused, I break it out the times I need motivation to restart a lifestyle change and it works. I’m not judging myself for it anymore. I know I probably don’t need it, but I like it. I know I can be a minimalist and still have a juicer-the thing is I do not want a label to dictate my thinking. I want to be free to do whatever works for me.

Photo by Josh Millgate on Unsplash

Over time, the lessons of minimalism were no longer as necessary for me. As I let go of things, the past went with them. I still kept sentimental things and I felt bad for doing so — that was the first time I saw a negative of minimalism. The philosophy made me feel guilty for wanting to remember the good memories I held.

It made me feel bad for liking fashion, and soon my minimalistic wardrobe was a shadow of myself — I used clothing as a means of expression and I somewhat lost that avenue to express myself. I did not even like expensive clothing, I just liked it to be colorful and fun, but with a minimalist wardrobe, it can be hard to have a variety of pieces because they do need to coordinate and work for different events. Not to say it can’t be done. But for me, it was all too much work and time better spent elsewhere.

The interesting thing is that the preoccupation with minimalism and having this defined lifestyle as a managing force may become in itself what it wishes to avoid — obsession over things. It can begin with anti-commercialism, but if we aren’t careful, it can foster a rejection of balance. By being so focused on things, we lose balance either from focusing on how much we have, or how much we don’t have — the result is not that different — we lose mental space and time.

Photo by frank mckenna on Unsplash

Minimalism, for me, became intrusive over time, and so, eventually, I rejected it as a way of life. This is not to say it can not be beneficial. I respect those who embrace this philosophy, but it was not for me. That being said, I encourage people to keep an open mind — it is okay for something to help you for some time and then realize it is not a good fit forever. It is never bad to learn something new and grow in the process. That is what minimalism did for me — it allowed me to grow.

I do not regret becoming a minimalist for a time. It taught me many things, but having a label on how to live my life doesn’t serve me anymore. I feel free.